Currently Listening The Last of Seven By Pat Monahan see related

Freedom and Communication

Well, at least I didn’t quite let a whole year go by since my last real blog entry of any kind. There are always so many thoughts and experiences I could mention of course, general and specific, but right now I don’t feel the need to be exhaustive; only to highlight and explain two of the absolute most significant things I’ve learned and come to think/feel over the past whole year, including recently:

DON’T STRESS OVER THE PAST, AND OTHER THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL: This is one of the absolute best lessons I’ve learned my entire life, and certainly has been one of the most helpful, in my life long-term as well as on a day-to-day basis. But the odd thing is that I didn’t even read a book or article on it, or hear a presentation or anything else. It just sort of hit me all the sudden, late last spring. Oddly enough, in the middle of the summer I did eventually hear it explicitly articulated at a conference, but initially I just realized out of the blue that so much of the frustration, stress, anger, sadness, regret and annoyance we have—from long-term issues to the most minute of daily affairs—comes from things that are either purely in the past, or else from present or future things over which we have absolutely no control or even influence. Whether it’s being cut off on the road, losing a loved family member, not getting a job, sounding stupidly awkward on a phone call to a girl, doing badly on a test, or any number of other things…if it’s in the past or in any other way is such that you can’t control or influence it, it can and will never do any good whatsoever to stress out over it. This doesn’t mean ignoring the respect and the beneficial helpfulness of grieving a loved one’s death, or feeling sorry and compassionate for a friend who’s in jail. But it does mean not continually letting those things get us down, or fretting over something we can’t change. Can it be beneficial to learn the most from them now, and even think and plan for how to best help prevent similar things in the future? Of course. Should we pray about things that happened, and about present and future things out of our control? Absolutely! But neither of those responses necessitates, or is helped by, worrying about the things we’re learning and praying about, or letting ourselves get continually frustrated by them. Did I sound awkward talking with her on the phone? Probably, but I can’t change that now, so just focus on future encounters, possibly learn from that experience, and maybe even get a bit of amusement out of it! Did I jeopardize myself on that test by not studying? Maybe, but do what I can to prepare better for the next one, and don’t worry about that one in doing so—because even if it could have hypothetically changed my whole grade, it’s in the past now and can’t change. Did I deserve that job I didn’t get? Sure, but dwelling on it with self-pity, regret or any other type of sadness won’t change it or help me learn anything for future situations. This is really a life-changing principle when applied, and when you start realizing it in minute, everyday situations, it starts to get more natural, and eventually you find yourself so much more at-ease and satisfied with all the events in your life in general, including major ones. Furthermore, a joyful and humble desire and willingness to always be learning and attempting our best makes complete sense in light of a grounded trust in God’s providence—even when we don’t end up attaining our best in situations.

COMMUNICATION: As my best friend once put it, “I am a total dork and proud of it!” If you know me now, there’s a good (OK, more than good) chance you also know that about me. But anyone who knew me from sixth grade through sometime in the middle of high school knows I could have given anyone a run for their money in a contest for most shy and introverted. Before sixth grade, I was a kid often in my own little world, and I would always speak my mind without a care in that world or the real one. Of course, going from home school to the socially-interactive setting of a private school in sixth grade subjected me to the perceptions and reactions of other kids, and any normal kid would have soon recognized what an often-annoying odd-ball I was then, as the kids in my first year after home school easily did. The rejection and ridicule ended up making me much more cautious about what I said before saying it, and it didn’t take long for that to go to an extreme—for a few whole years, people probably thought it noteworthy when I would speak more than a few sentences here or there, even more so whenever we were introducing ourselves to new students visiting the school. I gradually started to be more interactive as I spent more time with people my age, and in the middle of high school especially, I ended up making a best friend and soon even getting to the point of feeling more than naturally comfortable saying anything again. But it was still far from that way around everyone, especially new crowds—like the start of the college scene. It still always took me a really long time to break into groups and find “my place,” or even get to know a couple people at any more-than-surface level. But just over the last one or two years, I’ve been able to get to the point where open communication with people is usually second nature, in small or large groups or one-on-one, with brand-new acquaintances or long-time friends. In addition to the process of simply knowing some people more closely over time, I think a lot of what has enabled me to get to this point is the above-mentioned principle, about not worrying, stressing out over, or getting saddened or frustrated by things in the past or other things beyond my control. So I realized that if I engage in a conversation, or make a comment in a group discussion, even if it turns out to feel awkward or even sound stupid, right away it will be something in the past, and I’ll be able to learn from it and move on. And the more time you spend looking at it in that way, the more practice you actually get in the midst of the communication without having to worry about it or what others think, and thus you’ll even continually get all the better at it over time. A few years ago, when I was still much more private than I am now, I was talking with a friend about how I wished I could just naturally be open and expressive without a care, and that I wasn’t so introverted. He responded by mentioning a valuable and wise thing, which was to remember that God had made me that way for a reason. Looking back on it now, I honestly believe at least one of the reasons God put and carried me through the long season of private, often nervous introversion in my life is so that I now fully realize and appreciate the natural, open communication with people for just how amazing it is. This has been invaluable over the past year, in still keeping in-touch with a few good college and church friends from Memphis, getting back in-touch with best friends back at home here in Cincinnati, and beginning to make some brand new friends as well, in a couple different groups and settings—one of which is the group of brothers (male and female, lol) in the fraternity to which I’m pledging, Alpha Phi Omega, a co-ed fraternity centered around service, as well as friendship and leadership. All three of those themes overlap and work together in awesome ways, in theory and in real settings.

Likewise, both of the main points I’ve talked about here closely relate to each other, at least in my experience. They sort of also both relate to perfectionism, and how I’ve been able to escape the obsessiveness and perfectionism I used to have like the plague. Actually, for anyone who’s familiar with the Myers-Briggs personality tests, I used to test as an INTJ, but just recently tested as an ENXP. I will always place an extremely high value on truth, and also haven’t forgotten the value of giving things our best and even having an attention to detail at times, be it in communication or various other matters. But those principles are a far cry from worrying about things that either don’t really matter when we’re honest with ourselves, or else are just in the past or otherwise out of our influence. So let’s drink to living life freely and to the genuine people we get to truly know, serve and love throughout it!

Oh, and I’d be making a grave mistake (lol) if I posted this blog entry for people to read and didn’t make a plug for the first new album by singer-songwriter Steven Delopoulos in over three years, “Straightjacket.” Solid yet diverse in the folk tradition, Steve doesn’t shy away from the unexplored musically or lyrically, and writes poetry, stories and reflections that are simply amazing in their mystery, imagery, meaning, and amazing ability to relate. Check out his MySpace at http://www.stevendelopoulos.com and his official website at http://www.StringsAndWood.com. And while you’re at it, you might as well check out the local Cincinnati-based alternative rock band Kissing Pat, too, for which a friend of mine is the lead singer… http://www.myspace.com/kissingpat

Seminary, Friends and Culture

The past few days have been very enjoyable as well as helpful, as I was able to visit Westminster Seminary California, a very reputable Reformed seminary in Escondido, which is basically a suburb of the greater San Diego area. Being on spring break allowed for my free-time to overlap with their “Seminary for a Day” program. After coming back from Memphis to Cincinnati for a couple days, I took a flight to San Diego with my mother. She wanted to come along for the visit as well, so she could see where I may end up spending some of the coming years of my life. (You know moms!) Due to the airline schedules, we ended up getting tickets to arrive in San Diego on Tuesday, even though the program was not until Thursday. That allowed us some time to spend together observing some of the San Diego and Escondido cities and culture, including some dining, shopping and general “immersion.” It was also nice to get away from the Cincinnati weather for a couple days!

Whatever benefits or enjoyment came from the “California experience,” however, were definitely outshined by the Westminster experience – or, more properly, the whole day on which it occurred. I had contacted Paul Manata earlier, a friend in San Diego who I met online, initially at the Puritan Board. We were able to meet-up with him at a local Starbucks, and talk about life, things going on right now for us all, some theology, and Westminster. We also ran into his wife before leaving Starbucks, and it was neat meeting her as well. Paul initially went with us to Westminster in hopes of introducing us to Dr. Dennis Johnson, a professor at the seminary who is also an elder at Paul’s church. Dr. Johnson was down in his office at the time, however. It was great finally meeting Paul in person – visit the blog he posts on at http://triablogue.blogspot.com. He posts with a few other people on apologetics, philosophy, theology and other topics.

After the initial welcoming session at Westminster, there was a brief tour of the campus, which is very impressive both in terms of aesthetics and layout. Following that, there was a faculty panel discussion in which professors Joel Kim, Steven Baugh, David VanDrunen and Bob Godfrey (who is also the seminary’s President) talked about various aspects of Westminster life, including its purposes and goals, its means of achieving them, and its environment. Chapel followed the panel, with a couple hymns as well as a brief message by Dr. Johnson. The Scripture he used as well as the application he offered were especially helpful for a situation on my mom’s mind at the time, and we stayed and talked with him afterwards for a few minutes.

Then I had the opportunity to visit a class, and chose Dr. Kim’s class on textual criticism, which was very helpful in terms of greater familiarity with the nature of both the seminary and that particular field. There was then a session on financial aid, which may not be the most exciting part of any such day, but is necessary and helpful nonetheless. Due to something Christa Haeck (the Admissions Coordinator, who was particularly helpful throughout the day) mentioned at the end, I realized I had forgotten to sign-up for a one-on-one interview with a faculty member later in the day. Upon looking at the list, I chose to meet with Dr. Robert Strimple, a professor emeritus and the former President. I wanted to meet with him due to his immense level and amount of experience, wisdom and knowledge, coming from years of serving in ecclesiastical as well as academic settings, being one of the people present at WSC’s founding, and studying under theologians such as John Murray and Cornelius Van Til. There was then a cookout lunch for the whole WSC community, which was a good time to meet some new people, and further talk with some other visiting students we had already met. We also ended up having a good amount of conversation with Mark MacVey (Director of Admissions) toward the end of the lunch, which was very valuable just in talking more about different aspects of the seminary and its professors and students, in addition to some about his life and current place, as well as my plans and my mom’s thoughts on it all.

Following the lunch, there was a period to visit another class, with the one-on-one faculty interviews scheduled throughout that time as well. I had scheduled an interview with Dr. Strimple for 10-15 minutes during that time. Dr. Scott Clark (whom I had talked with on the phone in the past, and initially met and interacted with through the Puritan Board) was teaching a class on Church history during that time, and I was really hoping to still be able to attend a good portion of that after the interview. The student before me went over in time, however, and I ended up briefly doing so as well, so I unfortunately didn’t end up getting to attend Dr. Clark’s class. (I was initially getting somewhat frustrated at the significant overlap before my interview, but then realized and repented of my selfish, impatient and flippant way of reacting internally, especially in-light of the fact that Dr. Strimple had so graciously offered to meet with us in the first place!) Even so, I got to very briefly meet and speak with him at the end of lunch, and during the five-minute intermission of his class just before the closing session for the visitors. So even though I had previously interacted with him on the phone and online, it was an improvement to finally get to meet him face-to-face—and if anyone has ever read any of his online writings or debates on distance education, they know he would heartily agree with that!

Furthermore, even though I was disappointed at not being able to attend his class, I weighed that in balance with the interview, and was very glad that I took the opportunity I had to meet Dr. Strimple. That is because I will likely have many opportunities in the future to interact with Dr. Clark, particularly since he is a regular professor at Westminster, whereas Dr. Strimple, as an emeritus, only teaches for comparatively limited times. As such, I could not pass up the opportunity to meet with him and gain from his wisdom and experience, as that opportunity may well have been just as rare as it was helpful. (On that note, I still can hardly believe that only two other students signed up to meet with him—even more so in-light of the fact that Mark MacVey had mentioned this was one of the largest turnouts for the “Seminary for a Day” event as a whole!) He gave me a recommended resource and helpful reminders on continually evaluating my calling to ministry while keeping closely in-touch with my elders as I currently serve in my church. He also gave me some extremely helpful advice and guidance on how to possibly use a couple gap years between college and seminary, including how NOT to use those years, as well as what combinations of degrees at certain levels would and would not be helpful or wise to pursue, for various reasons. Right after leaving his office, I already knew some things that had tangibly changed about my plans, as those issues related to the timing, order and combinations of one or more degrees were some of the most important decisions I would need to make in the coming months, affecting the coming years.

At the end of the program, we filled out short surveys about our experience through the day, and got a 15% discount coupon for the WSC bookstore. I purchased two books: The Lost Soul of American Protestantism by Darryl Hart, and The Pattern of Sound Doctrine edited by Dr. VanDrunen. Dr. Hart formerly taught at WSC, and I got his book to be even more prepared to interact with Christian friends from an evangelical background on various issues during the rest of my junior year in college, and my senior year—especially since an RUF (Reformed University Fellowship, through the PCA) might start on my campus soon, and in participating in that, I will need to send the right message to friends from the current InterVarsity ministry I’ll still be active in throughout that time. The second book, edited by Dr. VanDrunen, is subtitled “Systematic Theology at the Westminster Seminaries: Essays in Honor of Robert B. Strimple.” The book traces the roots, development and role of several disciplines and doctrines in the Westminster seminaries (both the original school of Westminster Theological Seminary, and WSC as an eventually-independent institution), and also offers much thought and analysis on the theological disciplines and doctrines themselves as a whole, as well as considering the relation to and impact on the Church at large today and throughout the 20th century. As such, it seemed like a valuable book to read right now, both in terms of overall theological education as well as familiarity with Westminster and its history.

The program ended in the mid-afternoon, and our flight was not until the next morning, so we had another evening to enjoy the culture of Southern California. I got in-touch with Don Lowe, a friend I met online last year (initially through Facebook and MySpace, and later including some Puritan Board interaction as well—surprise, surprise!). My mom and I ended up meeting him for dinner at a Mexican café in Old Town. The element of meeting in-person was nice as always, and the interaction both before and during our meal was enjoyable. It was great hearing about some of Don’s future plans and current involvements, as well as discuss some theology and culture. Listen to a recorded song he wrote and performed at http://www.myspace.com/elnwood. The entire time during those few days was an excellent one, and I am strongly leaning in favor of attending WSC if I end up getting accepted, be that at the end of my senior year or a couple years after that—or anytime, Lord willing.

Currently Listening 25 Mozart Favorites see related

Well, yeah, I haven't posted in quite awhile . That is partially just due to the procrastination weakness remaining in me, and partially due to the fact that I'm busier at school now than I have been in quite awhile. That is due to none other than Classical Greek. It's enjoyable, but very challenging as well. But who knows - maybe one day I'll be writing these posts in Attic!

Anyway, I don't have time at the moment to write extensively on any certain topic, other than noting some of the changes going on in my life at the moment. One thing I am extremely grateful for at the time is the charity by which I have been surrounded at Riveroaks Reformed Presbyterian Church, getting the matchless blessing of meeting more fellow members all the time due to the willingness of many people to assist me with transportation issues. It's also nice to be in a good class on presuppositional apologetics, including viewing occassional lectures by Dr. Greg Bahnsen.

I have almost never listened to much classical music on my own at any stage in my life. One day in my Humanities class (Fine Arts track, for something different) last week, we spent the class analyzing and discussing parts of Beethoven's fifth symphony, which we had been assigned to listen to prior to class and listened to throughout the class. That afternoon, I could not get it out of my head, and have been listening to classical radio ever since! I hope to soon get some CDs by Beethoven, Mozart, Bach and others.

Lastly, while I have read a bulk of books and other material by contemporary Reformed theologians, a significant amount of material by the Reformers and authors around the time of the great Old Princeton theologians, as well as some excerpts online from the Puritans, I have never actually read full-length books by either the Reformers or the Puritans. Thus, I have recently undertook the task of going through my copy of John Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion for an exposure to a full systematic, and I just ordered two books by Puritan authors as well: The Reformed Pastor by Richard Baxter, and The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs. I expect the former to give me much to consider and pray on regarding my own possible consideration of the ministry, and even though Baxter was not a typical Puritan in many respects, that work in particular has been regarded as classic and invaluable. Burroughs' work should give me a more full exposure to the devotional work by the Puritans, as well as help me to continually and increasingly root my contentment and focus on God in His Word in my everyday pursuits and concerns.

Currently Listening Winds of Change By Russ Taff see related

My heart goes out to all those who have friends and family who were affected by the recent hurricane Katrina. It should drive Christians all over our country and the world to continued prayer for each other and the world, as well as serve as a bittersweet reminder of God's sovereign control over all cimcumstances and His working them together for the ultimate good of His glory and our joy, even when the exact opposite appears to be the case. In Isaiah 45:7 He declares, "I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the LORD, who does all these things," and likewise in Amos 3:6, "Is a trumpet blown in a city, and the people are not afraid? Does disaster come to a city, unless the LORD has done it?" Yet in light of that, "we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). For a fuller list I have compiled of Scriptures that give us such assurance, visit http://puritanboard.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=10468.

It has been enjoyable beginning my study of ancient Greek. It is actually simpler and more interesting to learn than I had expected, and I look forward to being able to read samples of classical and biblical texts in time. Since I cannot test myself too frequently, this is off the top of my head: alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, zeta, eta, theta, iota, kappa, lambda, mu, nu, xi, omicron, pi, rho, sigma, tau, upsilon, phi, chi, psi, omega.