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Freedom and Communication

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 05:37:34 GMT

Well, at least I didn’t quite let a whole year go by since my last real blog entry of any kind. There are always so many thoughts and experiences I could mention of course, general and specific, but right now I don’t feel the need to be exhaustive; only to highlight and explain two of the absolute most significant things I’ve learned and come to think/feel over the past whole year, including recently:

DON’T STRESS OVER THE PAST, AND OTHER THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL: This is one of the absolute best lessons I’ve learned my entire life, and certainly has been one of the most helpful, in my life long-term as well as on a day-to-day basis. But the odd thing is that I didn’t even read a book or article on it, or hear a presentation or anything else. It just sort of hit me all the sudden, late last spring. Oddly enough, in the middle of the summer I did eventually hear it explicitly articulated at a conference, but initially I just realized out of the blue that so much of the frustration, stress, anger, sadness, regret and annoyance we have—from long-term issues to the most minute of daily affairs—comes from things that are either purely in the past, or else from present or future things over which we have absolutely no control or even influence. Whether it’s being cut off on the road, losing a loved family member, not getting a job, sounding stupidly awkward on a phone call to a girl, doing badly on a test, or any number of other things…if it’s in the past or in any other way is such that you can’t control or influence it, it can and will never do any good whatsoever to stress out over it. This doesn’t mean ignoring the respect and the beneficial helpfulness of grieving a loved one’s death, or feeling sorry and compassionate for a friend who’s in jail. But it does mean not continually letting those things get us down, or fretting over something we can’t change. Can it be beneficial to learn the most from them now, and even think and plan for how to best help prevent similar things in the future? Of course. Should we pray about things that happened, and about present and future things out of our control? Absolutely! But neither of those responses necessitates, or is helped by, worrying about the things we’re learning and praying about, or letting ourselves get continually frustrated by them. Did I sound awkward talking with her on the phone? Probably, but I can’t change that now, so just focus on future encounters, possibly learn from that experience, and maybe even get a bit of amusement out of it! Did I jeopardize myself on that test by not studying? Maybe, but do what I can to prepare better for the next one, and don’t worry about that one in doing so—because even if it could have hypothetically changed my whole grade, it’s in the past now and can’t change. Did I deserve that job I didn’t get? Sure, but dwelling on it with self-pity, regret or any other type of sadness won’t change it or help me learn anything for future situations. This is really a life-changing principle when applied, and when you start realizing it in minute, everyday situations, it starts to get more natural, and eventually you find yourself so much more at-ease and satisfied with all the events in your life in general, including major ones. Furthermore, a joyful and humble desire and willingness to always be learning and attempting our best makes complete sense in light of a grounded trust in God’s providence—even when we don’t end up attaining our best in situations.

COMMUNICATION: As my best friend once put it, “I am a total dork and proud of it!” If you know me now, there’s a good (OK, more than good) chance you also know that about me. But anyone who knew me from sixth grade through sometime in the middle of high school knows I could have given anyone a run for their money in a contest for most shy and introverted. Before sixth grade, I was a kid often in my own little world, and I would always speak my mind without a care in that world or the real one. Of course, going from home school to the socially-interactive setting of a private school in sixth grade subjected me to the perceptions and reactions of other kids, and any normal kid would have soon recognized what an often-annoying odd-ball I was then, as the kids in my first year after home school easily did. The rejection and ridicule ended up making me much more cautious about what I said before saying it, and it didn’t take long for that to go to an extreme—for a few whole years, people probably thought it noteworthy when I would speak more than a few sentences here or there, even more so whenever we were introducing ourselves to new students visiting the school. I gradually started to be more interactive as I spent more time with people my age, and in the middle of high school especially, I ended up making a best friend and soon even getting to the point of feeling more than naturally comfortable saying anything again. But it was still far from that way around everyone, especially new crowds—like the start of the college scene. It still always took me a really long time to break into groups and find “my place,” or even get to know a couple people at any more-than-surface level. But just over the last one or two years, I’ve been able to get to the point where open communication with people is usually second nature, in small or large groups or one-on-one, with brand-new acquaintances or long-time friends. In addition to the process of simply knowing some people more closely over time, I think a lot of what has enabled me to get to this point is the above-mentioned principle, about not worrying, stressing out over, or getting saddened or frustrated by things in the past or other things beyond my control. So I realized that if I engage in a conversation, or make a comment in a group discussion, even if it turns out to feel awkward or even sound stupid, right away it will be something in the past, and I’ll be able to learn from it and move on. And the more time you spend looking at it in that way, the more practice you actually get in the midst of the communication without having to worry about it or what others think, and thus you’ll even continually get all the better at it over time. A few years ago, when I was still much more private than I am now, I was talking with a friend about how I wished I could just naturally be open and expressive without a care, and that I wasn’t so introverted. He responded by mentioning a valuable and wise thing, which was to remember that God had made me that way for a reason. Looking back on it now, I honestly believe at least one of the reasons God put and carried me through the long season of private, often nervous introversion in my life is so that I now fully realize and appreciate the natural, open communication with people for just how amazing it is. This has been invaluable over the past year, in still keeping in-touch with a few good college and church friends from Memphis, getting back in-touch with best friends back at home here in Cincinnati, and beginning to make some brand new friends as well, in a couple different groups and settings—one of which is the group of brothers (male and female, lol) in the fraternity to which I’m pledging, Alpha Phi Omega, a co-ed fraternity centered around service, as well as friendship and leadership. All three of those themes overlap and work together in awesome ways, in theory and in real settings.

Likewise, both of the main points I’ve talked about here closely relate to each other, at least in my experience. They sort of also both relate to perfectionism, and how I’ve been able to escape the obsessiveness and perfectionism I used to have like the plague. Actually, for anyone who’s familiar with the Myers-Briggs personality tests, I used to test as an INTJ, but just recently tested as an ENXP. I will always place an extremely high value on truth, and also haven’t forgotten the value of giving things our best and even having an attention to detail at times, be it in communication or various other matters. But those principles are a far cry from worrying about things that either don’t really matter when we’re honest with ourselves, or else are just in the past or otherwise out of our influence. So let’s drink to living life freely and to the genuine people we get to truly know, serve and love throughout it!

Oh, and I’d be making a grave mistake (lol) if I posted this blog entry for people to read and didn’t make a plug for the first new album by singer-songwriter Steven Delopoulos in over three years, “Straightjacket.” Solid yet diverse in the folk tradition, Steve doesn’t shy away from the unexplored musically or lyrically, and writes poetry, stories and reflections that are simply amazing in their mystery, imagery, meaning, and amazing ability to relate. Check out his MySpace at http://www.stevendelopoulos.com and his official website at http://www.StringsAndWood.com. And while you’re at it, you might as well check out the local Cincinnati-based alternative rock band Kissing Pat, too, for which a friend of mine is the lead singer… http://www.myspace.com/kissingpat

Seminary, Friends and Culture

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 06:08:20 GMT

The past few days have been very enjoyable as well as helpful, as I was able to visit Westminster Seminary California, a very reputable Reformed seminary in Escondido, which is basically a suburb of the greater San Diego area. Being on spring break allowed for my free-time to overlap with their “Seminary for a Day” program. After coming back from Memphis to Cincinnati for a couple days, I took a flight to San Diego with my mother. She wanted to come along for the visit as well, so she could see where I may end up spending some of the coming years of my life. (You know moms!) Due to the airline schedules, we ended up getting tickets to arrive in San Diego on Tuesday, even though the program was not until Thursday. That allowed us some time to spend together observing some of the San Diego and Escondido cities and culture, including some dining, shopping and general “immersion.” It was also nice to get away from the Cincinnati weather for a couple days!

Whatever benefits or enjoyment came from the “California experience,” however, were definitely outshined by the Westminster experience – or, more properly, the whole day on which it occurred. I had contacted Paul Manata earlier, a friend in San Diego who I met online, initially at the Puritan Board. We were able to meet-up with him at a local Starbucks, and talk about life, things going on right now for us all, some theology, and Westminster. We also ran into his wife before leaving Starbucks, and it was neat meeting her as well. Paul initially went with us to Westminster in hopes of introducing us to Dr. Dennis Johnson, a professor at the seminary who is also an elder at Paul’s church. Dr. Johnson was down in his office at the time, however. It was great finally meeting Paul in person – visit the blog he posts on at http://triablogue.blogspot.com. He posts with a few other people on apologetics, philosophy, theology and other topics.

After the initial welcoming session at Westminster, there was a brief tour of the campus, which is very impressive both in terms of aesthetics and layout. Following that, there was a faculty panel discussion in which professors Joel Kim, Steven Baugh, David VanDrunen and Bob Godfrey (who is also the seminary’s President) talked about various aspects of Westminster life, including its purposes and goals, its means of achieving them, and its environment. Chapel followed the panel, with a couple hymns as well as a brief message by Dr. Johnson. The Scripture he used as well as the application he offered were especially helpful for a situation on my mom’s mind at the time, and we stayed and talked with him afterwards for a few minutes.

Then I had the opportunity to visit a class, and chose Dr. Kim’s class on textual criticism, which was very helpful in terms of greater familiarity with the nature of both the seminary and that particular field. There was then a session on financial aid, which may not be the most exciting part of any such day, but is necessary and helpful nonetheless. Due to something Christa Haeck (the Admissions Coordinator, who was particularly helpful throughout the day) mentioned at the end, I realized I had forgotten to sign-up for a one-on-one interview with a faculty member later in the day. Upon looking at the list, I chose to meet with Dr. Robert Strimple, a professor emeritus and the former President. I wanted to meet with him due to his immense level and amount of experience, wisdom and knowledge, coming from years of serving in ecclesiastical as well as academic settings, being one of the people present at WSC’s founding, and studying under theologians such as John Murray and Cornelius Van Til. There was then a cookout lunch for the whole WSC community, which was a good time to meet some new people, and further talk with some other visiting students we had already met. We also ended up having a good amount of conversation with Mark MacVey (Director of Admissions) toward the end of the lunch, which was very valuable just in talking more about different aspects of the seminary and its professors and students, in addition to some about his life and current place, as well as my plans and my mom’s thoughts on it all.

Following the lunch, there was a period to visit another class, with the one-on-one faculty interviews scheduled throughout that time as well. I had scheduled an interview with Dr. Strimple for 10-15 minutes during that time. Dr. Scott Clark (whom I had talked with on the phone in the past, and initially met and interacted with through the Puritan Board) was teaching a class on Church history during that time, and I was really hoping to still be able to attend a good portion of that after the interview. The student before me went over in time, however, and I ended up briefly doing so as well, so I unfortunately didn’t end up getting to attend Dr. Clark’s class. (I was initially getting somewhat frustrated at the significant overlap before my interview, but then realized and repented of my selfish, impatient and flippant way of reacting internally, especially in-light of the fact that Dr. Strimple had so graciously offered to meet with us in the first place!) Even so, I got to very briefly meet and speak with him at the end of lunch, and during the five-minute intermission of his class just before the closing session for the visitors. So even though I had previously interacted with him on the phone and online, it was an improvement to finally get to meet him face-to-face—and if anyone has ever read any of his online writings or debates on distance education, they know he would heartily agree with that!

Furthermore, even though I was disappointed at not being able to attend his class, I weighed that in balance with the interview, and was very glad that I took the opportunity I had to meet Dr. Strimple. That is because I will likely have many opportunities in the future to interact with Dr. Clark, particularly since he is a regular professor at Westminster, whereas Dr. Strimple, as an emeritus, only teaches for comparatively limited times. As such, I could not pass up the opportunity to meet with him and gain from his wisdom and experience, as that opportunity may well have been just as rare as it was helpful. (On that note, I still can hardly believe that only two other students signed up to meet with him—even more so in-light of the fact that Mark MacVey had mentioned this was one of the largest turnouts for the “Seminary for a Day” event as a whole!) He gave me a recommended resource and helpful reminders on continually evaluating my calling to ministry while keeping closely in-touch with my elders as I currently serve in my church. He also gave me some extremely helpful advice and guidance on how to possibly use a couple gap years between college and seminary, including how NOT to use those years, as well as what combinations of degrees at certain levels would and would not be helpful or wise to pursue, for various reasons. Right after leaving his office, I already knew some things that had tangibly changed about my plans, as those issues related to the timing, order and combinations of one or more degrees were some of the most important decisions I would need to make in the coming months, affecting the coming years.

At the end of the program, we filled out short surveys about our experience through the day, and got a 15% discount coupon for the WSC bookstore. I purchased two books: The Lost Soul of American Protestantism by Darryl Hart, and The Pattern of Sound Doctrine edited by Dr. VanDrunen. Dr. Hart formerly taught at WSC, and I got his book to be even more prepared to interact with Christian friends from an evangelical background on various issues during the rest of my junior year in college, and my senior year—especially since an RUF (Reformed University Fellowship, through the PCA) might start on my campus soon, and in participating in that, I will need to send the right message to friends from the current InterVarsity ministry I’ll still be active in throughout that time. The second book, edited by Dr. VanDrunen, is subtitled “Systematic Theology at the Westminster Seminaries: Essays in Honor of Robert B. Strimple.” The book traces the roots, development and role of several disciplines and doctrines in the Westminster seminaries (both the original school of Westminster Theological Seminary, and WSC as an eventually-independent institution), and also offers much thought and analysis on the theological disciplines and doctrines themselves as a whole, as well as considering the relation to and impact on the Church at large today and throughout the 20th century. As such, it seemed like a valuable book to read right now, both in terms of overall theological education as well as familiarity with Westminster and its history.

The program ended in the mid-afternoon, and our flight was not until the next morning, so we had another evening to enjoy the culture of Southern California. I got in-touch with Don Lowe, a friend I met online last year (initially through Facebook and MySpace, and later including some Puritan Board interaction as well—surprise, surprise!). My mom and I ended up meeting him for dinner at a Mexican café in Old Town. The element of meeting in-person was nice as always, and the interaction both before and during our meal was enjoyable. It was great hearing about some of Don’s future plans and current involvements, as well as discuss some theology and culture. Listen to a recorded song he wrote and performed at http://www.myspace.com/elnwood. The entire time during those few days was an excellent one, and I am strongly leaning in favor of attending WSC if I end up getting accepted, be that at the end of my senior year or a couple years after that—or anytime, Lord willing.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 22:19:30 GMT

God...the future...Greek...ministry...relationships...music...all my current thoughts and issues on life in general and my life...et cetera...

...elaboration to follow...sometime.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 23:08:37 GMT

Well, yeah, I haven't posted in quite awhile . That is partially just due to the procrastination weakness remaining in me, and partially due to the fact that I'm busier at school now than I have been in quite awhile. That is due to none other than Classical Greek. It's enjoyable, but very challenging as well. But who knows - maybe one day I'll be writing these posts in Attic!

Anyway, I don't have time at the moment to write extensively on any certain topic, other than noting some of the changes going on in my life at the moment. One thing I am extremely grateful for at the time is the charity by which I have been surrounded at Riveroaks Reformed Presbyterian Church, getting the matchless blessing of meeting more fellow members all the time due to the willingness of many people to assist me with transportation issues. It's also nice to be in a good class on presuppositional apologetics, including viewing occassional lectures by Dr. Greg Bahnsen.

I have almost never listened to much classical music on my own at any stage in my life. One day in my Humanities class (Fine Arts track, for something different) last week, we spent the class analyzing and discussing parts of Beethoven's fifth symphony, which we had been assigned to listen to prior to class and listened to throughout the class. That afternoon, I could not get it out of my head, and have been listening to classical radio ever since! I hope to soon get some CDs by Beethoven, Mozart, Bach and others.

Lastly, while I have read a bulk of books and other material by contemporary Reformed theologians, a significant amount of material by the Reformers and authors around the time of the great Old Princeton theologians, as well as some excerpts online from the Puritans, I have never actually read full-length books by either the Reformers or the Puritans. Thus, I have recently undertook the task of going through my copy of John Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion for an exposure to a full systematic, and I just ordered two books by Puritan authors as well: The Reformed Pastor by Richard Baxter, and The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs. I expect the former to give me much to consider and pray on regarding my own possible consideration of the ministry, and even though Baxter was not a typical Puritan in many respects, that work in particular has been regarded as classic and invaluable. Burroughs' work should give me a more full exposure to the devotional work by the Puritans, as well as help me to continually and increasingly root my contentment and focus on God in His Word in my everyday pursuits and concerns.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 19:50:41 GMT

My heart goes out to all those who have friends and family who were affected by the recent hurricane Katrina. It should drive Christians all over our country and the world to continued prayer for each other and the world, as well as serve as a bittersweet reminder of God's sovereign control over all cimcumstances and His working them together for the ultimate good of His glory and our joy, even when the exact opposite appears to be the case. In Isaiah 45:7 He declares, "I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the LORD, who does all these things," and likewise in Amos 3:6, "Is a trumpet blown in a city, and the people are not afraid? Does disaster come to a city, unless the LORD has done it?" Yet in light of that, "we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). For a fuller list I have compiled of Scriptures that give us such assurance, visit http://puritanboard.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=10468.

It has been enjoyable beginning my study of ancient Greek. It is actually simpler and more interesting to learn than I had expected, and I look forward to being able to read samples of classical and biblical texts in time. Since I cannot test myself too frequently, this is off the top of my head: alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, zeta, eta, theta, iota, kappa, lambda, mu, nu, xi, omicron, pi, rho, sigma, tau, upsilon, phi, chi, psi, omega.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 00:28:00 GMT

Well, the summer is approaching its annual close. There are still several things I need to get done before that time, most of which is writing, with some reading as well. Once school begins again, in addition to the various general requirements courses, I'll get to refine my poetry writing as an English course, as well as begin my study of Classical (Attic) Greek. I am looking forward to that both for the preparation it will give me for Biblical (Koine) Greek in seminary as well as the further study opportunities it will provide prior to that, including biblical and classical texts.

I enjoy making lists. Thus, I frequently compile lists of various topics that occupy my thought at a given time, but even more so of foundational convictions or records of a more long-term nature. In light of that, since I have recently been seeing and hearing things that constantly remind me of the overwhelmingly misunderstood and misrepresented true issues that surrounded the War for Southern Independence, as I prefer to call it[1], and yet I have too many other writing and reading commitments at the time to write a full essay related to it, I thought I would just jot down a few "sampler" facts about the war that would serve as puzzle pieces to begin making the whole picture of the truth at least more clear than do the politically correct history texts of the day, even if it is only a few random pieces of it. Wow, that was a long sentence. Anyway, if you have either never studied the war or else have only heard the typical side of the story, do not consider your study or knowledge of it to be through an even elementary level of exhaustion if any of these facts surprise you:

-Tariffs and industry were a large cause of original Southern secession

-Lee had freed his slaves prior to the war, and Grant had slaves during the war. In light of the representative nature of those men of their respective sides in the war, that fact should be quite indicative as to what was not at the heart of the war.

-An immediate abolition of slavery would completely cripple the Southern economy, as well as put the former slaves into immense poverty; but Confederate leaders like Lee, Jackson and Dabney were convinced that the melting influence of Christianity would naturally eliminate slavery over time.

-The seceding Southern states had originally entered into the Union under the written condition that they could freely leave at any time, as did many Northern states, such as New York. Lincoln simply ignored those conditions.

-When Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation in the middle of the war, it only freed the slaves in the Confederate states, not in the Union states - not to mention that he no longer even had jurisdiction over the former states at that point.

-The Emancipation Proclamation did not offer any compensation to the Southern slave-owners, though their slaves had originally been bought from Northerners, who had imported them.

-Lincoln was an open, unashamed racist and white supremacist.

Again, while I do not have the time to paint even a comprehensive sketch of the war right now, that should at least give a skeletal idea of how opposed the contemporary politically correct picture of the war is to the true picture.

[1] To merely call it a “Civil War” does not do justice to the radical and unwarranted change it represented and set forth in the nature of our government, as it represented a tyrannical, unchecked and overstepped abuse of federal power, which laid the foundation for many problems that developed in the United States after the war, and still live on today. I owe mention to my friend Josh Hicks for pointing out the accuracy of the title “War for Southern Independence.” Visit his blog at http://jhicks.blogplot.com. Josh also pointed out the inconsistencies even of titles like “War Between the States” or “War of Northern Aggression.” The former is inaccurate because it was not particular states that were to blame on either side, but rather the abuse of federal power against states’ rights in general. Likewise, the latter is inaccurate because it was not the people of the North or the Northern states as a whole that caused the problems, but rather Lincoln himself and his loyals.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 02:49:41 GMT

I confess I am
captivated by your beauty
But it’s your heart, not your lips
that keeps me comin’ round

My heart says forever
My head says
as long as I possibly can
I’m gonna wait right here
until you’re ready
to place that heart
in these two hands

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 19:51:21 GMT

So many years of diggin’
Now the time had finally come
I poked my head through the earth above
and I thought I saw the sun
But the light in my eyes
was the flashlight of a prison guard
He said, “Welcome home boy.
You didn’t get too far.”

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 23:54:32 GMT

Here is a brief essay I wrote on November 13, 2003 describing my journey to the Reformed faith, entitled, “A Far Journey Through Christendom”:

In considering what single issue has been both the most encouraging and challenging in my life so far, I would be lying through my teeth if I wrote about anything non-theological. Theology and the study of God’s Word has always been my chief passion, and thus it should naturally be expected that my greatest encouragement and challenges alike would spring from that area as well. Nothing has had a greater impact on my theological outlook on life than the theology of the Reformation—nor has any journey of mine been more challenging than the one that led me to it. However, it would be a hundredfold more challenging to attempt, in one essay, a full explanation of all the specifics of my journey to the Reformed faith. Therefore, I do not set out to fully explain my discoveries here, but only to sketch a portrait of what my journey through them was like. When I first heard of Calvinism, it sounded more ridiculous than anything my mind could ever conjure up: “Lord, I’m glad I’m not a lunatic like that. I’m sure glad I know the truth. Who on earth could believe that You actually predestined some people to go to hell, and aren’t trying to save every person?” In fact, it seemed so far out there that I was almost certain I would never have to deal with it, and could just dismiss it with the wave of a hand. So I did, and easily went on with my happy Christian life.

Or so I thought.

I was raised in a very contemporary, fundamentalist, charismatic church, and never bothered to investigate the views of my own denomination, and how they lined up with Scripture. I had just come to automatically think of many of the beliefs and practices of other denominations as confused, or else I categorized them as “tradition without truth.” That included things such as the Seventh Day Adventist doctrine of Saturday still being the true Sabbath day, the Roman Catholic doctrines of infant baptism and purgatory, the widespread belief in the cessation of the charismatic gifts, and the Mormon belief that humans can become “little gods.” The list went on and on—and when I first heard of a Christian belief in predestination, called Calvinism, I easily dismissed it as one of those things—in fact, one of the most ridiculous of them all.

A few years after that, as I was just getting to “the dating age,” I read a Christian book entitled I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. In a footnote to a fairly interesting quotation, Harris referenced an author named John Piper, who had written a book about pursuing and finding joy in God. Shortly after that, I read the book by Piper, and was impressed with his writing. Over the next couple months, I continued to read works by Piper, and always benefitted from what I read. Then one day the unthinkable happened: I was reading an article of Piper’s on the internet, and he made a comment about his strong faith in Calvinism. A red flag went up in my mind: “Calvinism? I know I’ve heard that word somewhere…wait, that was that ridiculous doctrine about predestination I heard before!” I was astounded; I did not know what to think. “So, is Piper actually a heretic in disguise? The only options are that, or the possibility that Calvinism is not so ridiculous after all…but I know that couldn’t be true, so…but Piper…or could it?”

I was quite perplexed at that point, but did not know what else to do other than embark upon a study of Calvinism and its implications. I knew from the beginning that it was a radical teaching, and thus that its truth or falsehood was a very important, central and definitive thing in my faith—there could be no middle ground. However, I was not at all confident that I would come to terms with it. But I also could not see myself rejecting Piper as a heretic. I did not know what to expect.

I began simply by reading articles on the internet that offered Scriptural support and philosophical justification for both views. I then slowly began to see how some people could possibly, in their right mind, consider Calvinism something less than full-fledged heresy. But even that was a stretch. The more I read, the more I began to be slightly more considerate toward the Calvinistic view as a possible belief, but I still had many more problems with it than solutions. I then decided it was time to read some full-length books on the subject from both viewpoints. The first one I read was a book by Dave Hunt entitled What Love Is This? which attempts to show that Calvinism greatly misrepresents God’s love, and that Martin Luther, John Calvin and other Reformers were not such great Christian leaders after all. Since I was still pretty unfamiliar with the topic in general, I was not quite sure how to judge certain statements about it from either view, so I just did the best I could to process what I took in. In light of that, Hunt’s book, from about half-way through, definitely turned me further against Calvinism, so that I was highly doubtful that any further reading would change my mind and make me really consider it again. However, I still kept to my original commitment, which was to read at least one book from a leading author of each persuasion.

The first book I read from the Reformed viewpoint was entitled Chosen by God by Dr. R. C. Sproul. It was a very basic study of the central concepts and principles behind, and implied by, the Calvinistic doctrine of predestination. Whereas Hunt’s book had addressed Calvinism in-depth and as a whole, including the historical background and related issues such as Christ’s atonement, Sproul’s book focused mainly on predestination, addressing other issues only briefly. However, predestination, while certainly not its whole sum, is essential to the Calvinistic concept of salvation. Therefore, the book was able to surprise me by exposing and challenging many things I was taking for granted after reading Hunt’s book. It re-ignited my uneasiness with the topic, and made me realize I was not going to be able to dismiss it that easily. At that point, I was basically neutral with regard to the issue, and wondered once more if I would ever get it resolved. I then knew I needed to read a book from the Calvinistic viewpoint that considered all the relating factors in-depth. The book I found most recommended from Reformed websites, and even by authors like Sproul, was Dr. Loraine Boettner’s The Reformed Doctrine of Predestination. It was quite a read, and I often had to sleep on paragraphs.

Comparing each issue with its counterpart in Hunt’s book, and with the Scriptures and my own questions, was tough, but in the end I came out absolutely persuaded that the Calvinistic concept of salvation was precisely the one presented in Scripture.[1] I say it was “tough” in part because the journey was complex and deep to work through, and also because even once the Scriptural analysis presented in Boettner’s book fully convinced me of the Reformed position on salvation, I did not like it. I wrestled with God quite a bit on the topic. However, the more I have thought about it in terms of all the facets of my faith, the more I have grown to love the doctrine and its implications for life, which all ultimately stem from the fact that God, and not man, fully determines just who will be saved, and effectually generates and secures that whole process from start to finish.

I should have known that studying such a central, important topic as the Calvinistic doctrine of salvation would eventually lead me to study and ponder other aspects of Reformed theology as well, but for one reason or another, my mind did not make that logical connection—not right away, that is. As I read more work by Reformed authors, my views on other key issues began to be challenged as well.

One conviction I had already made shortly before I encountered predestination was that I strongly disagreed with what is called Dispensationalism, which basically splits up God’s major intents and purposes throughout different time periods, and in particular emphasizes that He has one plan for the Church, and another for Israel. I had come to think that this view misrepresented God’s biblical unity and eternal nature, even though it was taught at my church, and I had been raised to think of Israel’s significant purpose in the Church today. But it was only after I started reading Reformed authors that I learned of Covenant Theology, which, as opposed to Dispensationalism, teaches that God’s purposes and His means for accomplishing them are essentially the same at heart throughout all of history, even if they seem to take on different external expressions. I discovered that it was nearly as major a tenet of Reformed theology as was salvation.

My study of how God related to His people through covenants led to a study of the Reformed understanding of infant baptism as well, which was just as foreign to me at that time as predestination once was. Paralleling this was my study of the charismatic, revelational gifts of the Holy Spirit, and their continuation today, and even the biblical model for proper expression of worship and the Lord’s Supper, which I now believe is violated by much of contemporary “Christian” revivalism. Once I had studied the Reformed doctrines of salvation and some Covenant Theology, I did not anticipate going further. I planned to eventually join a group of churches called Sovereign Grace Ministries, which held to Reformed thinking with regard to salvation and basic Covenant Theology, but was otherwise basically identical to that with which I had grown up. However, I kept discovering more and more that I was not going to be able to leave any issue untouched and take my current beliefs for granted. In studying paedobaptism, the cessation of the charismatic gifts and the orthodox way of worship from various sources and viewpoints, I was shocked at how every branch of Reformed theology was biblically intertwined with the others, and how the Reformed positions on seemingly minor, unrelated issues were actually inseparable from the same foundational, root concepts that lay at the heart of the more “major” doctrines like salvation and Covenant Theology. In what I have studied and continue to study of the Reformed faith, I have been amazed at the biblical richness of the concepts and doctrines, how they stand or fall with one another, and how definitive their implications are in shaping the heart of one’s central beliefs about Christianity.

When I compare where I am now in my spiritual walk with where I was over a year ago, I am amazed and utterly grateful to God for leading me where He has. (In fact, I find it rather humorous to think that He used a book on dating to initially spark a study that would eventually lead me to the Reformed faith.) Much of the theology and tradition of which I used to be suspicious is now central to what I hold most dear. Likewise, many viewpoints and practices I used to consider “obvious” and “natural” by default, I now see as sub-biblical. While I have certainly gained much in my Christian life from the teaching and the extremely encouraging fellowship at my Assemblies of God home church, I eagerly look forward to joining a Presbyterian church, and fellowshipping with Reformed brethren. My journey from a contemporary, fundamentalist, charismatic understanding of Christianity to the Reformed faith has been, and I believe will continue to be, an educational, challenging and enriching experience…a far journey through Christendom.

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[1] While Boettner’s book was the guide that pointed me, it was ultimately Scripture and Scripture alone that convinced me of the Reformed doctrine of salvation; I was confronted with many Scriptures that I had already seen, but had never dared to take at face value. Thus, even if I would have hated the doctrine forevermore, the Scriptures would simply not allow me to let go of it, and I believe they never will.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 06:49:03 GMT

Right now it's nice just enjoying the summer. One thing that's (fortunately) keeping me from doing nothing but reading, writing and listening to music at my computer all day is that I finally got a job for the summer, at a local produce market. It's been OK so far.

The biggest thing on my mind right now is the book I've recently begun, and hope to finish over the summer and eventually publish. I might entitle (or subtitle) it, A Reformed Primer, and the name basically says it all regarding the intent and subject matter of the book. I hope to make it a brief (100-200 pages) overview of the distinctives of Reformed theology for the thinking lay-person. I've seen countless primers on individual issues, such as the doctrines of grace or Covenant Theology, and of course there are the lengthy systematic theologies, and sometimes even brief works that treat many issues. But even books in the third category never seem to explain how all the issues relate to each other, which ones are central versus peripheral, and which ones are specifically unique to Reformed theology. So I hope to achieve a balance between those types of works, and present the distinctive tenets of Reformed theology in a way that the average Christian will understand and that will inspire him or her to further study of the Reformed faith. So far, I have completed the table of contents, the preface, the preface to the appendices, the two appendices themselves, the bibliography, a list of recommended web resources, and an outline of the introduction.

Soli Deo Gloria!